A Professional Roadmap, of Sorts

Our most recent class assignment was coming up with a “roadmap” of where we want to take our careers.  Said roadmap could take any number of forms, thus, I chose to emulate a NY Times Corner Office interview, as we’ve already read a number of actual Corner Office interviews in class.  I lack some specificity in my career direction, but I think the key components are there in this “future interview” – freedom, relationships, impact.  Exercises like these may be frustrating in their refusal to figure out my career for me, but I do think they’re helping me flesh out the future, even if the process is more incremental than monumental.

CORNER OFFICE

Fritz Kessler, on Relationship Building and the Freedom to Commit

By ADAM BRYANT

Published: January 22, 2034

This interview with Fritz Kessler, Managing Partner of his own company, Velvet Hammer, a community management consultancy, was conducted and condensed by Adam Bryant.

Me

Earl Wilson II/The New New York Times
“Approaching life as a leaf in a stream had basically sent me careening over a cliff.”

Q. You must hear this a lot, but you look amazing for 50.

A. Not enough, and thank you.

Were you a leader among your peers growing up?

You know, by and large I’d say I wasn’t.  I may have been for a short time in early grade school – I actually remember my favorite 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Hinckle, remarking on what a natural leader she thought I’d been for a group project, probably collecting bugs with a bunch of classmates or something like that.  But once I made it to middle school it all just fell apart, which I mostly chalk up to an awkward adolescence and that overwhelming desire to fit in.  Being especially small and nerdy at the time probably didn’t help much, especially in such a rural, country place like eastern Washington.

Also, I think divorced parents didn’t make self-expression and leadership easy growing up.  I was much more worried about pleasing my parents during the limited time I’d spend with each of them individually, than I was about speaking my mind in front of them and possibly ruining that time.   I’d say it was a solid 15 years or so, from middle school until well after college, of taking the “leaf in a stream” approach to life, doing my best to avoid major conflict or decision making and trying to fit in to whatever community I wound up being around, before I decided I want to take a more self-actualized approach to life.

Was there anything specific that made you want to change your approach?

Oh, easy, my marriage to my first wife.  She remains an amazing woman, but our marriage was an almost comical disaster, it went wrong in just about every way a marriage could go wrong.  Going through that experience made me do some serious reflecting on what led me to that point, and what I could do to make sure it never happened again.  Certainly one of the more inescapable conclusions was that approaching life and marriage as a leaf in a stream had basically sent me careening over a cliff.

Did you learn anything else from that experience, other than knowing you didn’t want to go through it again?

Yeah, I think that, in confronting what led me to that point, it became clear that the paucity of strong, non-intimate relationships in my life was hurting me in a big way.  With few exceptions, I think most of us are designed for strong interactions with others, personal networks of love, caring, and support, and I’d done little to foster those types of relationships in my own life.  Working through the process of building those relationships in my life clued me into their transformative power, and probably stoked my desire to leverage that experience and power in my professional career.

You’ve spoken often of your desire for professional freedom, to take on projects of interest to you at your leisure, and yet you also manage your company as a partnership (with fellow entrepreneur, Union Palenshus).  Was it a hard sacrifice for you to give someone else in your organization that kind of control?

Well, you’re right about my desire for freedom.  I’ve never wanted to be beholden to a major company or organization, nor pigeonholed as a specific type of professional.  I think of myself as a generally smart, creative guy who could do a ton of things, and I’ve approached my career with that mindset.  That said, freedom doesn’t come easy, and it took me a lot of working within small and large organizations, lots of law firms, and schooling, to understand how organizations work, understand teams, work with my community, and earn the credibility to start something like Velvet Hammer.

In terms of my managerial partnership, I’m very fortunate to have a partner in Union that, at least on issues of social justice, is very aligned with my own desire to use any means of relationship building to foster positive social change.  But, all those years of being a people pleaser leave their mark, and I’ve definitely realized that as sure as I am about what I want, I’m not always the best enforcer of said wants.  Sometimes you need that Alpha personality at the top, someone who’s a bit more of a bulldog – and that’s not always gonna be me.

Ultimately, my goal with Velvet Hammer is to make a difference for issues I care about – arts education, homelessness, mental health – and I needed to build the best possible team around me to do that, including at the uppermost levels of our organization.  I’m plenty good with people, but I can’t do it all.  I think recognizing our differing skill sets and managing this company as a partnership has only strengthened our credibility and given us more freedom to commit to projects of our choosing, vs. the partnership manifesting itself as any sort of limitation of our leadership.

I also just love the example that positive relationship building at the top of our company sets for us, and for our organizational peers.

Velvet Hammer is approaching its tenth anniversary.  What do you think of its impact so far, and what do you want its legacy to be in the context of leadership?

I feel like, and hope others agree, we’ve made a positive impact on the greater Seattle community by connecting people to issues that matter – like those I mentioned earlier – in ways they wouldn’t expect, whether that’s connecting people to homelessness via their entertainment interests, or using virtual means to create communities around the arts for youth when traditional institutions failed them.

In terms of leadership, I hope we set an example that encourages people not just to lead others, but take charge of – lead, if you will – their own lives in ways they didn’t expect.  None of us, including myself or Union, ever felt like we were “social justice” or “political” or “digital” types, but, ever since the dawn of the online revolution 35 years ago, it’s been increasingly clear that you don’t have to a specific type of person to learn the skills and tools to make the kind of impact you want to make in the world.  By providing a strong organizational structure, but also professional flexibility of opportunity at Velvet Hammer, I think we offer our staff a chance to explore their destinies in ways they didn’t anticipate, and hopefully their satisfaction with that arrangement shines through to their peers and the greater community in a way that encourages others to do the same for themselves.

Lastly, where did the name “Velvet Hammer” come from?

Heh, that one actually goes way back.  The saying back in high school was that one could be smooth like velvet but….take on a different sort of activity like a hammer.  A bit crude, for sure, but I found it inspiring too, the notion of being able to turn on that charm and smoothness at will, but also be an enforcer when necessary.  I’m still working on both parts, especially the enforcement bit, but “Velvet Hammer” remains a strong reminder to know my skills, and also improve that strong, aspirational element of myself.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

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